Thank you for asking these questions, Melanie, as I know that there are many grandparents who are currently estranged from their grandchildren and they probably have the same or similar questions.

The best thing you can do is to continue to communicate with them while you are apart. You said you have been writing letters to your daughter. You can do something similar with your grandchildren but may need to write an email or send a video or do a video chat with them online. You can do many of the things I have suggested in this blog virtually, with just a little creativity. Spend most of your time asking them open ended questions that don’t require a “yes” or “no” answer. You might say things such as, “How have you been?” or “What was school like this past year?” or say “Tell me about …….”. Then, when they talk, LISTEN. If they ask you questions about your life and yourself, answer them honestly- using age appropriate language of course- but try to keep your answers concise so there is more time for you to listen to them. Pay attention to what they are interested in and engage with them on those topics of interest.

You might also want to ask Connor if he would like to set a date for to meet with you and your other grandchildren. It can’t hurt to ask and hey, he may say “yes”.

Finally, recognize that your greatest opportunity to nourish and disciple your grandchildren is to model how your faith in God has impacted your life and to show them the fruits of the spirit. Kids of all ages learn more from what they see in us than from what we say. Continue to pray for them and let them know you are praying!

Dr. Joannie

How can we incorporate a relationship with our grandkids (ages 14, 15, and 19) when we have hardly seen them for about 5 years. One of our grandkids, Connor, said, “Don’t worry, Grandma, it won’t be long!”
when i told him I had a dream that he and his brother drove over to our apt. We need to respect our daughter’s boundaries (that her children don’t have to make a decision about Christ until they are 18, ) yet love on all of them. (Her husband was raised as a preacher’s kid until he was about 14; his Dad was asked to leave his position as a preacher and we haven’t been told why.)

How can we remain nourishing to them all? Please write! Thank you!

Melanie Potter