Question:
My daughter and her two daughters (age 16 and 19) recently went to a concert. I had never heard of the singer, so I googled her. I was disturbed by the lyrics and videos she performed and shocked that my daughter would condone her daughters listening to such music. They used to be very involved in our church but are not currently attending. What can I do?
Response:
I certainly understand your concern. It would be helpful for you to ask your daughter what led to her decision to attend the concert with her daughters. Then ask her what she thought about it. It is important not to approach the situation with any judgment but rather, with the intent of learning more from your daughter.
You might find that she was surprised about what she heard and saw and wasn’t aware of the content of the musician’s music or videos prior to attending. She may regret having taken her daughters and you won’t know that until you ask questions.
On more than one occasion, I have been disappointed with the content of some concerts, presentations by comedians, and theatrical productions I have attended, even though trusted friends have recommended those events and I had researched the content prior to attending.
If your daughter thinks the content was fine, you can gently mention some of your concerns, let her think about them for a while, and then follow up with some more questions at a later date.
By doing this, you are more likely to keep the lines of communication open than if you come across as disapproving of her choices.
