Understanding and Responding to Abortion and a Pro-Choice Stance with Love (Part 2)

In Part 1 of this article, we emphasized the importance of speaking in love with those affected by abortion or those who are pro-choice. While that is essential to connecting and conversing with them, it’s also important to mention some cautions about responding.

We need to recognize that there are some things that Christians have done (or are doing now), that have not aligned with Scripture, have not been loving at all, and have resulted in building up pro-choice advocate arguments.

How Not to Respond

Some Christians have turned to publicly displaying graphic images of aborted fetuses to grab the attention of others and make a point that “abortion is murder”. This rarely achieves the intended effect. Rather, it exposes many innocent people to images that may cause them to feel disturbed for a very long time. It also raises the level of anger of pro-choice advocates and provides legitimate arguments for them to accuse Christians of using inappropriate means to make their points.

Jesus did not influence people through the use of shocking demonstrations, and neither should we. It was His love and compassion that truly moved people to change.

Also, sometimes those who adhere to a pro-life stance are very passionate about helping a woman or couple make a choice to keep their baby but not so concerned about providing support for them after the baby arrives. This is especially hard on women or couples who are experiencing hardships before the baby is born.

Our desire to save the life of a baby should extend to concern about the baby’s and his or her family’s health and welfare after the birth, as well.

Finally, in their desire to preserve the life of babies, some Christians ignore the need to focus on other sanctity of human life issues. People with disabilities or some illnesses are being encouraged to seek physician-assisted suicide in many parts of the world. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for youth from ages 10-24.

The lives of these individuals are just as important as the life of a newborn baby.

When we don’t address these important issues, we give the pro-choice supporters evidence for their often-reported argument that those who are pro-life are just “pro-birth”.

Therefore, it is vitally important to make sure that you are cautious about any responses that are likely to cause damage or give pro-choice advocates legitimate arguments for rejecting other reasonable arguments.

With that in mind, let’s talk about some appropriate responses.

How to Respond

You may be the first and only Christian to talk openly with your children or grandchildren about abortion and the pro-choice movement. So here are some things for grandparents to consider when discussing the sanctity of life.

1. Be prayerful – Ask for God to give you a discerning spirit, the ability to show genuine love and compassion, and for the Holy Spirit to guide you in your words and actions.
2. Be available – Take the time to hear your child or grandchild’s perspective. Listen to the ways the person justifies his or her involvement in an abortion or pro-choice stance.
3. Be empathetic – Truly listen and seek to understand without condoning the behavior. Seek to see the situation from their perspective without condemnation or judgment.
4. Be supportive – Become familiar with available resources and try to help them make connections for needed care.
5. Be committed – Realize this is a process and a journey, so be ready for the long haul that grieving and healing takes.
6. Be alert – To opportunities to share God’s unconditional love, forgiveness, grace, and truth.
7. Be thankful – God is using you to impact your child or grandchild with grace and truth. Thank your child or grandchild for being honest and open with you.
8. Be prayerful – Remain in prayer for continued open doors of communication and connection.

Conclusion

Remember to approach anyone involved in an abortion or supporting a pro-choice stance with love, compassion, and empathy. Be willing to hear where they are coming from and understand the context in which they made a choice for abortion or currently espouse a pro-choice perspective.

We can be vehicles for change, but we can’t make the changes. That happens in the heart, mind, and soul of an individual in relationship with the Triune God. We can “drive” the conversation with thoughtful engagement but the final destination is not our choice.

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Editor’s Note: If you or a loved one has been affected by this issue and would like additional guidance, please visit our Ask Dr. Joannie page. This resource can help with many grandparenting hurts and challenges.