Question:
One of my daughters has never been married but has a now 30-year-old daughter from an unplanned pregnancy. That granddaughter is now pregnant out of wedlock. She plans to keep the child even though she is not financially secure.
I’m the only Christian in the family. How do I show Christ’s love but communicate my feelings about the bad choices my family makes?
Response:
You might want to start by asking your daughter how seeing her daughter repeating the choices she made in life is affecting her. If she is troubled by the situation, you could comment that it could be helpful for her to talk with her daughter honestly about how those choices have affected her and you.
If she doesn’t seem troubled, you could then talk with her gently about your concerns for your granddaughter and her current boyfriend, being careful to state your concerns from your perspective and giving specific reasons that you feel the way you do.
You can’t control how she responds and she may just tell you that your perspective is wrong and you will have to accept that. You could also consult with your daughter’s siblings to find out if they are concerned and if so, if they would be willing to talk with her.
Sometimes our children reject our offers for help and in those cases, we can certainly turn to intercessory prayer and pray for healing in their lives as well as for God to place other Christians in their lives to disciple them.
Also, if you have a good relationship with your granddaughter, try to keep communicating with her and expressing unconditional love for her. Then, if she experiences struggles as a result of the choices she is currently making, she may turn to you for support in the future and at that point, you can be there to provide Christlike guidance.
