Desiring One-On-One Time With Family

Question:

My daughter and son-in-law have a very close relationship with his family. They are together every Saturday for our grandson’s baseball games, attend the same church, and often go to lunch together after those events.

When my husband and I would like to spend some one-on-one time with them, our son-in-law still invites his family as well.

I have shared our feelings with our daughter, but I believe she doesn’t know how to deal with it. Sadly, my husband and I find ourselves keeping our distance. What would you suggest?

Response:

That must feel frustrating and disappointing.

While your desire to have time alone with your daughter and her family is reasonable, any time with them is better than no time. Therefore, I suggest that you attend events that include your son-in-law’s family so you can continue to build relationships with your grandchildren.

You may also want to provide invitations for time alone with the family at your home, several weeks in advance of an event, and make it clear that you prefer to invite just your daughter and her family.

If you have made that clear and your son-in-law invites his family, I suggest that you honestly communicate your concerns about him going against your wishes and ask him to respect your requests in the future.

1 thought on “Desiring One-On-One Time With Family”

  1. I suggest you do the inviting. Perhaps you can set up a picnic in a nice park or plan to go to a museum together. If you have the funds go out to dinner and pick up the check or invite them on a weekend vacation somewhere. Be creative and come up with ideas that you know they would be interested in. As long as you don’t overdo it they should be willing to accept your invitations.

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